Are My Creative Ambitions Still Alive?

I woke up this morning at 3:55 am, took a shower, got dressed, and got in my car --- my normal routine.  As I pulled out of my driveway, I began to reach for the button to cut my radio on, but I was halted by a flood of  thoughts.  What began as simple questions of, should I get gas now or after work; should I get coffee now for my train ride or when I arrive to work; should I respond to e-mails now to be proactive or wait; and should I change my working hours or keep them the same, soon changed to one deep (or at least to me) question of, why do I feel less creative now-a- days?  I know the latter question was a 180 from the others, but it popped up in my head quite aggressively and demanded an answer.  I pondered and searched for the multiple possibilities of answers to the question, but only one answer came to mind...my 9-5 job.  

I was disturbingly relieved to know what was most likely responsible for strangling the life of my creativity.  On one hand, it was good to know what the root cause probably was, but on the other hand, I was troubled over that fact that I was dependent on the 9-5 for financial income.   I felt I was between a rock and hard place, because at that moment, it seemed as though I had to choose and the 9-5 might be the victor. I knew the 9-5 provided for my needs and some of my wants (such as shoes, tech toys, and other personal gifts) so how could I give that up?  I was truly disturbed because being creative was a part of me, and if that dies, then would I be living myself? 

As I continued my commute on the train (and no longer in my car), I said to myself, “Oh my gosh”! Why? Because I really didn’t have a plan for what to do in terms of resuscitating my creativity back to life.  I usually have a smile every morning, but today my expression was quite bland, causing attention from fellow commuters that were used to seeing my smile.   No one said anything, but their faces were in a perplexed state.  I tried to smile, but it was hard.  As I departed from the train and began to walk outside, I took a deep breath to relax (from making myself tense about the 9-5 killer).  I cleared my mind and asked myself, what can I do now to help keep my creativity going? At first nothing came, but as I drew closer to the doors of my job, my mind gave birth to somewhat of a solution. The solution was this: I will let my 9-5 end at 5, and let my creativity consume the remainder of my day.  I knew this would be challenging at times due to some of my job duties, but at that moment, I committed myself to doing it as much as I could.  I wanted to get back to writing, photography, spoken words, etc., and this was the way to do it!  I no longer wanted my 9-5 to drain me and allow that to be my only life, because life has so much more to offer.   

My whole mindset now is on this concept: Work the 9-5 during the transition to the fulfillment of my creative ambitions --- one being the development of Skillology to its full potential.  I want to be one of those people who work in their ambition(s) full-time and LOVE IT!!!!