Love of My Life, You Are My Dreams
Far in the distance, in a room full of well-suited, personable, sparkly-eyed boy geniuses, I see a figure.
Unfortunately this one is harder to make out; not quite as clear as the others. But I notice it’s height, irregularly tall; much like a fictional giant, trampling over ordinary townsfolk. And it’s width, unhealthily wide; carrying a weight that doctors would diagnose as bypassing obese. And it’s limbs are plenty, making it appear to be of alien decent; tentacles branching from one another, but in an oddly uniformed manner.
I’m intrigued. I’m drawn to this figure. In a room full of well-polished, charismatic, clearly beautiful specimens of testosterone, my pheromones direct me to this creature that is disgustingly more attractive.
As I approach this figure of interest, I begin to notice colors: big, bold colors resembling power, honor and determination. It gets brighter; resembling sunshine after a rainy day.
I’m closer. Closer to my dreams. And I’m in love.
For me, love has always been a type of passionate admiration targeted toward an individual. Romantic love has been a yearning I’ve always had when it comes to guys who I have been interested in throughout my life. Good morning texts and late night phone calls, sweet dates and memories shared with mi amor (my love) have been my definition of agape.
That is, until time spent turned into time of mutual annoyance when words shared sparked love lost. During these times, romance was a faint vision of the past. That is, until the next well-suited, personable, sparkly-eyed boy genius came along and the cycle continued.
After a while of dating various guys, exploring different personalities and still getting the same result, I just lost hope for love.
Until I met my dreams. No longer held back by the burdens of toxic relationships, the separation of two made the power of one stronger. Beginning to envision the life I wanted and the measures it would take for me to get me there restored a sense of hope in my life. I fell in love with the thought of living through my own independence in comfortable, profitable bliss. Thus, I dedicated every waking moment to my new love, as it is the only mate who seemed to stay around long-term and prove to be rewarding with every hand-held step we took.
After I’ve been going steady with my aspirations for quite some time, I decided to open myself up again to the type of love from my past. And even more than before, the disconnect was prevalent-- perhaps because mi amor (my love) had competition with mi sueno (my dreams). Thus, another relationship came plunging down like the Titanic and all I had to hold on to in the icy water were my dreams. Was it possible that a romantic relationship could ever live in harmony with the love I had for my dreams?
So, at this point, I am left perplexed…
Why is it so much easier to be dedicated to your dreams than to a person? Why don’t relationships seem as rewarding as the satisfaction of accomplishing a goal? Is it possible to balance the passion of a relationship and a dream? Why is it hard for some mates to be as supportive of your dreams as they are in the relationship? Can you be in love with two things and it not be cheating?
Skillologists, as we traverse upon life’s paths and fall in love mercilessly with our dreams, we must ask ourselves these questions. The first step is to recognize the dream that becomes the love of your life. Consequently, we have the responsibility to determine where that love falls on our priority list in relations to those individuals around us whom we love. Though it is my belief that it is possible to love your dream and love other people and ideas as well, let us all explore what, optimally, the other aspects of our lives look like amidst the perfect union of us and our dreams. Love has no limitations.
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Comments
Thanks for sharing. Deep,
Thanks for sharing. Deep, and I think many of us can relate in some way to what you've written. Chasing a dream many times does seem less complicated than hoping and waiting for "love" or dedicating to a relationship. Dreams can sometimes hold just as much of your emotions as a relationship does; however I believe the difference is the return of emotion. Your dream isnt giving you emotions back, whatever happens concerning that dream is merely your reaction to whatever circumstances happen to be occurring at that time. With another person, there is a constant push and pull of emotion back and forth, that sometimes can be a bit much, especially when you are trying to chase your dreams all at the same time. But at the right moment and with the right person, it is possible to have that balance. It is possible to have someone that supports you, supports your dreams while also maintaining dreams of their own in which you can return that love and support. I have yet to experience this directly, but I know it exists, I've seen it, and have come close to it.
The question you posed about being in love with two things...now that is a good question. I do believe it's possible to feel strongly about more than one thing BUT to be in love with both is not unless the two are closely related and complement one another. Being "in love" requires a certain level of yourself that cannot be divided amongst other things or people. You can be passionate about multiple things, or strongly like multiple things, but I don't believe you can be "in love" with multiple things.
Lastly, I believe relationships can be very rewarding, it's just a matter of which you value over the other. If what you value more at the time is your dream, then accomplishing a goal will seem more rewarding that a relationship, but if what you value more at the moment is a relationship, then the success of that relationship will feel more rewarding.
Sorry for the novel. It was engaging! Smiles.
So, what I'm getting is - you
I do believe that you can be
AMEN!! :)